-=| =/ |=-
This week end is juz very dead... i over slept on sat morning... 1 bcoze i was home very late on fri(cell)... 2 there was aircon supply tat nite....dish~ knock out...
people seemed very concern abt my dad n i huh? well i guess there izzn't much problem goin on le.... so dun really need to worry....
Everyday i juz feel tat my surrounding seems more n more foreign to me...people whom i used to mix ard juz seems so far away.... n people whom i dun mix ard juz seems friendlier n wasn't wad i expected....
It's a crazy world out there... n i dunno wad to do....i'm ard so many peepz yet i feel so lonely....bleah~ this is reality...
To Paraxysm: well why do people not want to go army...? lotsa NS man dies in army every year, n no, not bcoze of war, but bcoze of military exercise... it's a hush hush thing but it's reality... the mama shop below my block... their son juz died in a SAF exercise... n i dun want this to happen to me... study all my life... n force 2 get into army n die... wad a life to live...
J O E| 6:56 PM |
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-=| So annoying... |=-
Dosed off durin Bio period on tues(wad do u expect, last period u noe)... so tired tat day...
I had my english pliminary oral on weds...when i went into the room, i was so freakin freezing... then i sat there n read... feeling so cold, n my heart was trumpting like i was being chased by some rapist or sumthin... when i was suppose to describe tat picture i didn't noe wad to describe... so freaking "zing zhang"...Dosed off while watching tv... n juz jerked up by a bloody pain thru my tongue, i accidentally bit it while sleepin...
I was almost late to skool today, but i managed to reach skool on time, when the daily hair check came, i was so freakin scared... i guess i'm juz paranoid...Slept throughout chem period on thurs, felt so good...i'm those guai guai student who dun slp in class wan, then dunno why today managed to slp... teacher didn't notice summore... hmm i wonder did i snore...=/
Today was quite a good day... bible test was postponed... checked the jean yip group, guess i'll go into hair styling if i were to fail my OS... however it's a 1 year corse... n then i'll go Army.... ahhh! i dun want.....
all the small things, good n BAD
The days in my life
can be happy or SAD
I could laugh at any little thing
& make my day SO MUCH brighter
Some things are just such a BOTHER
that can't be SHRUGGED OFF with a smile
Yet A small thing can trigger
many deep and PAINFUL wounds
Those that still HURT alot
& those that just ACHE
But I'll still TRY to live
with a smile everyday.
J O E| 7:27 PM |
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-=| Great ocean road... |=-
J O E| 8:18 PM |
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-=| This seems relavent |=-
... but i dun mean wad it says...
i want him to be tortured n suffer 4ever... Mwahhahaha....(kidding)
J O E| 8:05 PM |
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-=| Post secret |=-
J O E| 8:00 PM |
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-=| Feeling hiiigh |=-
been blogin ard... n i tod my pencil case was limited eddition... n i saw tat sumone else has it...aniwayz i like it's design lots wad do u think?
yeah have been bloggin lots tat my dad is so annoying... well sat was one cool day...
Didn't stay long 4 mad, but i was really amazed wif BeeGuang's math trick... n she tod me one thing thru the short 30minz... I muz start preparing 4 the examz b4 the examz take over me... yup muz study liaoz...
Went n meet up wif my sis to go have a dinner wif my aunty...she striked lottery! yay!... on the bus i saw Stan n his bro there... n i really regreted saying hi to him... he toks too loud n as if he hasn't seen me in 10 years....
Dinner was really good... n i was drinkin red wine.... n my face was rouchy... n i carried on trying tiger beer since i onli tried heniken... n it tasted like sum normal fizzy drink... then i oso mixed wif diet coke... n it tates nice.... soon i bcame a LUO HAN.... or should i say a Wanyang singer(pink face version)...
I could still walk straight n still can think properly... n i felt very high... juz very happy... but i guess i was juz alittle drunk... then i was sprouting lame phrases... omg... as i can still think i knew wad i said.... after thinkin over... i shouldn't have said tat....o'-'0 so embaressed after thinkin over it....the hang over was juz 5minz... juz felt alittlesick... n it was over.....
On sunday actually plan to meet up wif Shaun to go to sentosa to celebrate Lulu n gary's b'day.... then in the end.... in the morning my mum dun want me to go....
PS: So sorry tat i juz can't attend the pary at sentosa... n i hope u guys did have fun...Happy B'day Luise n Gary....
J O E| 6:46 PM |
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-=| World War III |=-
This morning bcoze he lost face bcoze of my mum infront of his children... he felt super bu shuang... then he went to me n my mum one by one to vend his anger.... making really small issues big.... n everytime he loses out in the verbal fight he would change topic till he wins... so to prevent it from gettin worst i chose to give in... but obviously he couldn't tok me out...=j... i guess i have quick reflexes n he juz cannot stand my attitude... well he cannot stand me n neither can i... i feel tat living wif him is really 'sang sheng'(harmful to body)... if everyday he were to explode, if he doesn't go crazy, i'll go crazy one day bcoze of him....
He is juz so fake infront of church members... he never wants to lose face infront of them... so he has high expectations from us... resulting in the holier then thou attitude.... he is alwayz correcting us... thinking tat he is alwayz rite... but he also has his wrongs n alwayz covering up wif excuses...or even make up stories abt the other party to create distrust(he made up stupid stories in front of my mum abt me...)..... his attitude is i'm ur husband/ father so u muz respect me n give way to me... however i won't oblige to such thing... in christ we r broz n sis... so no superior or wad... i juz cannot stand him...wad should i do?
I find tat through his menopause he is behaving more n more like a woman... petty of little stuff... being jealous of his children(i suspect my face has tat white patch bcoze he is jealous of me... disfigured me n i received lotsa unnessasary attention from other peepz...).... everytime when my mum buys new clothes we as children muz hide the plastic bags n clothes n pretend nuthin happened... or he will be jealous tat his wife is treating his children better then himself...i really dispise him lots...even my mum would buy the newest bag in town n stock it up in her wardrope n use it in a month's time...n when he asks if it was a new bag she will not lie n say tat it was bought long time ago...
I really look down on such peepz n one thing 4 sure i would NEVER wanna be like him when i have my own children...
Thank u for being there 4 me... n i'll try to stop talkin back... but i think ignoring him is good....
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-=| Bad luck comin on my way... |=-
Wed was the beginning of my bad luck… I was late 4 skool…onli till I’ve reached the gate, tats onli then did I noe tat I could actually make it… Mingsheng spoted me on the bridge… n I saw him close da gate… thinking I cannot make it, I went to cheers to look ard 4 sweets to kill time… felt so regretful tat I should juz cheong all the way to skool not caring wheather if I think I’ll be late or not…
B4 ne class even started Clare n Prici had a huge quarrel… A quarrel which actually caused the class to be quiet… Being back from MC, Paulene, was kinda caught in the middle n was tryin to stop them from goin on…=/ this really marks the unluckiness of the day…
The teachers ard were very evil n lotsa phrases had other meanings in between the lines… sumtimes I juz act blur to what they have to say… however in a Adventist skool, how can there be teachers who have such teachers ard… 0-o??
We had a bio lab practical to be done… n we had to work wif potatos n iodine…. N my shirt got stained by the iodine…=/
When I was usin the comp in the library… there came this Indian bangala… freak lo… came n kajiao me… then no mood to surf anymore…
Even better, to end the day… my eccentric dad started a argument wif me… I guess he is too bored in the security job… or maybe I got saca by factory workers or even his colleagues… he was akin me on how was I doin wif math… n he says tat he cannot understand y a normal person cannot score in math since it was so easy…(I guess he was tokin abt himself) … he was stereotyping me being a Chinese n China peepz… comparing them wif me…(if then, how come my english is better then a typical China born chinese? duh~ rite?)…everyone’s brain works differently n u cannot compare them like tat….n being a sore loser he said tat wadever I said was rubbish…. He juz wants to pick up a heated argument or wad?
Thursday was a lil better… I was damn late… I reach novena MRT at 745 n the gate would be closed by 750… run outta da train up the escalators n stuff, I even ran across the road instead of the bridge(I hope no one saw me…=/) luckily I didn’t die… n made it to skool…
It was national harmony day… n the chapel programme was 2 periods long…=/ damn boring… sing so many songs n tat mr Quek who thinks he can sing very well n is very enthu went to lead…. When the guitar plays, the into havn’t finish he start singing liao n his rhythm was really off… resulting us the back row not able to stand it… really lo buai tahan… the principal was in his Shanghai woven silk pao~… n toked crappy stories of his grandparents n link link link all the way to curfew in the old old days blah blah blah…. Didn’t really pay attention to wad he say…. Most people were sleeping liao….
During lab, we were workin wif potassium maganate….it’s a substance which stains stuff…. N it’s dark purple in colour… n my hand was stained by it….freak!......
Friday... sat the same train as yesterday... ran my guts out to reach skool.... n i didn't cross the road... by the time i entered the gate... i was like half dead...
2day oso have math test on the first period.... i didn't noe abt it...arggh.... n there was a "Short" prefect meeting after assembly.... u have guessed it.... not enough time 4 test....=/
today shouldn't have much "unclean" stuff happening... as i finish early... i hope there wouldn't be much stuff like tat happening...
It's very "xie men" (unlucky happenings comin in a row)... i dunno wad to do....
J O E| 7:14 PM |
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-=| Writings... |=-
I've said in my entry tat there was a picture on the wall... n this is how it goes...
The picture is a picture of ee-yore having the usual sad but happy look...and words on it saying 'success requires perserverance'then there is burnt marks all along the side of the paper...then there is a piece of paper by the side of it writing...
"The picture shows a donkey which can either happy or sad, depending on the way you view it. You will be jubilant after you succed but you will definitely come across setbacks while trying to achieve your goal, and hence may be upset. The burnt marks exemplify that in order to succed, you must have the fire in your soul and in your heart."-Qinpei
Well while lookin at tat picture... it really makes me wanna strive hard 4 my oz.... however without lookin at it 4 a while, the feeling juz goes away... well these doesn't juz imply on my oz... it also applies 4 ne goal tat any one wanna achieve...
J O E| 7:22 PM |
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-=| inspirations through the week... |=-
on sat... a Family who i knew from the Langut camp(Thomson's 1st church camp... in so many years)... newayz this family is a visitor to thomson church n i saw them in jurong... was quite bz... n i juz said hi...
they were sitting at a corner summore at the back... i wonder did they feel welcomed... so through the service i wrote a welcome card, as iam a care person in church... however i wasn't able to pass to them.... they left b4 lunch....n they alwayz did tat in thomson....felt quite regretful...
Then in the afternoon tat day i went to help out wif pathfinders.... Aunty bertina's class is juz 9 pupils... however it's a disaster as one is noisy the others r affected(plus there r kindergarden toys lying ard, they get disracted).... hmmm i pity teachers... muz control the class....
so after tat i went to Qinpei's house... no one was there.... onli Yansheng playin eggbert...then i joined him.... sianz sia.... sadist us watched how it got exploded... drowned...n lots more....then i saw a ee-ore pic on the wall....there was sum words by the side of it making it so inspiring.... it was so nicely drawn wif burned marks along the side.... well i'll write wads on it tommorrow....
Well... i guess i muz buck up... pull up my socks n comb my hair? oh well... prilims r 7 weeks away.... ahhhhhh!
J O E| 7:07 PM |
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-=| Summary of the week.... |=-
This whole week i had to do prefect duty... being a prefect is not easy in skool.... i was duin the PA System wif another Joel... however today i was pushed abt by my sec2 group leader to do the flag pole.... welll i've not done it 4 a long long time.... n i dun noe how it turned out...
On wedsday.... i was late 4 skool but managed to squeese through the skool gate n make it 4 assembly.... however the other Joel was sick n no one was doin the PA system.....
background knowledge: I study in San Yu... n most of the students in the skool r overseas students.... wif a small percentage of singaporean students... being the minority, no one sings in anthem or says the pledge... even the teachers dun move a mouth... however the enthu Principal n Mr Quek sings n does everything very proudly like it was some very cool trend which everyone should follow...
so no Choir to sing from the CD, Mr Quek had to use the mic to sing Majulah Singapura... he sing sing sing half way zao sia(out of tune).... then he end up am chio am chio there... so farni.... however i feel kinda bad... as it was partly my fault....
tokin bout zao sia....i realise tat many of the teachers have tat problem.... Mr Quek, Mr Jacob, Miss Tan, Mdm Chen, Mrs Liah n many many more.... i guess tats how they keep the class alive.... they make the class laugh....or at least gossip abt them....
hmm... seems like i'm turning my entry into a gossip collumn.... anywayz i guess my week was like tat....tonite is gonna be torturous.... A FAMILY WORSHIP...tods of it gives me shivers down my spine...ahh.... hope tat it will be quick n i'll be done wif it....
J O E| 8:39 PM |
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-=| Horrifying math test... |=-
1 period ago was tat freakin maths class... like my title says... yup... it's maths test... the teacher took such a long time to come to class n slowly fold the papers like sum stupid origami teacher trying to teach puils how to fold a3 paper into a4.... then the first few questions were like so hard... then when i reach the 3rd question it was much easier.... by the time i finish the 1st question part 1... times up.... it was wad de!@#$%^&*..... i can't take tis any more.... i will do my paper from the back to front in future no matter wad people tells me....the marks at the back r freakin much more then the front... n i wasted my time all infront.....=/
Aniwayz i shall not complain anymore....tis morning i was in the air when teacher said tat my compo was interesting...heee...=j....
yesterday she asked the class to write a 100words or more paragraph wif the story starting "If i were..." n it goes like these.....
If i were a piece of exquisite cloth, i would be a very useful resource for many people. I would want to be useful to an apparel designer or even a tailor. Being a piece of cloth, i have high hopes for what i will be in future, however my destiny depends on the person who buys me. If a housewife were to buy me, i would be used for making table cloth or even window cutains. If a tailor were to pick me to make his clothes, i would wish to enter a rich man's apparel closet. Being operated under designer's tools, i can see that my future would be quite reputable, as i would have higher chances of being popular. To be worn over super models, having pictures of me flaunt all over magazines, i would be known for my design and material. Although i have many wishes and dreams as a piece of cloth, i would want to stop thinking about probabilities of what will i be but spend my time thinking of what i can be as a normal teenager.
yeah... i guess this is the highest(9/10) i ever got in my secondary life.... sad case huh? but yeah... i guess this is wad i have...
PS: i'm fiddling wif the HTML codes... so if u wanna tag my board, leave your comments instead...=j
J O E| 7:09 PM |
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-=| updates... |=-
Time is flyin so fast n yet i'm sitting there motionless like a lonely snail... time has flown so fast n the sun is above my head... n yet i'm still moving so slowly... Even the sun doesn't dehydrate me a big foot will step on me... wad am i gonna do? juz a lonely snail on the pavement....
okie my entries r gettin boring n lame n i shall say adios...
J O E| 6:50 PM |
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-=| 2nd part of e hate entrie |=-
I realise tat my dad is really unreasonable… he has his own perception of things n stuff… n it’s really unbearable…=/
I realise tat he is opening up all my letter… it’s really a no no 4 tat…it’s not to say tat I receive lotsa letters… however, to satisfy his curiousness he opens up all my letters n leave it on the table as if it wasn’t touched… i dun understand y muz he do tat…. He does tat 2 my sister… n I dunno y….
He is really getting old… n is always grumbling abt stuff… unhappy abt stuff ard him… n vends his anger on his family members…. Always havin the holier then thou attitude… criticising n bitching abt people at their backs… making really lame remarks n laughing at them… causing people ard him 2 stare at him cluelessly….=/… how embarrassing…
Well here is the onli place where I can place my views… n I hope it will not go ard circulating… aniwayz there r lotsa stuff which I dun really understand…. Can sumone actually tell me y r stuff like these happening… is dad goin through his 2nd childhood?
J O E| 6:43 PM |
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-=| interesting... |=-
i recently bought 3 CDs.... n i kinda regretted after spending the money... Arggh.... ahh but nvm.... i bought "the groove coverage CD" n "Best 2005" n Fan Fan's newest CD.... well i never regretted buying the 1st 2 cd.... but after listening to techno... i listened to fan fan's cd n found it quite mild... well so i kinda regretted.... possibly bcoze i'm kinda pshycoed by big S's show in chU....
2day is fridae n it's end of the week... 9 more weeks to prilims n i'm still slackin away like nutthin happening...=/
Mouth: Dun u think the weather is gettin hotter this week?
Face: Yeah... n my surface is getting craters like the moon... n eew... lotsa oil too...
Joel: Wad should i do? I WANNA GO BACK TO AUSTRALIA!!
I'm currently slacking in the library of the skool waiting 4 time to flow by.... u noe wad? this week our time table changed n i get released at 10 on fridae... whooo!!! go to skool at 8 n back at 10... so cool yeah??
wad to do now.... too bored liao.... no msn 2 use at skool....=S.....
B!0
Name : Joel Xiang Desheng P3RS0N@L!TY
Personality : Flamboyant T@g W!SH3S 3M@!l CURR3NT M00D W3@TH3R F00T PR!NTS !N 3 S@nd R@D!0 ST@T!0NS P@ST R3CORDS L!NKS
DOB : 19th May 1988
Age : 19+
Height : 1.73++m
Weight : Abt 60kg
Zodiac : Dragon
Horroscope : Taurus
Fav Sports : Breathing exercises on the bed every night(snore)
Fav colour : Blue, silver, black
Fav things : Vintage looking stuff...
Hates : People who commands me to do anything
Worst habits : Talking back, bitching...
Best Habits : Obeys house rules
How do u relax : Bitching, complaining, vibrate my ear drums with sound waves from my disc man
One thing tat no one noes abt? : i'm Sentimental...
Three words 2 describe me : Rude Noisy Freak
One liner tat i'm most proud of : Being kind to your enemy means to be cruel to yourself
Moto in life : Look 4 a goal n strife hard
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